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We are wrapping up this brief introduction to the ideas behind the Fundamentals Tripodô. I suggest, strongly and with evidence!, that there are three basic ingredients or aspects to a life that is functioning well: integrity, communication and completion. We began looking into integrity first, moved on to communication last month, and get into completion this month.

Eileen L Epperson
Spiritual Center Coaching


3. Completion

We come now to the third leg of the stool, COMPLETION, as we inquire into what it takes to have a life that works. COMPLETION: Having integrity, communicating clearly and being complete are all related but they are not identical. Each has a nuance that we need to tease out to get the juice in each idea. "Complete" means: "having all necessary parts, elements, and steps; total, absolute" (Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 10th Edition). When we are complete with something, it is not necessarily finished; it is just not missing any parts; it is whole (and it may be finished). In a complete conversation you have said what was on your mind and not withheld something. Same for the other person. This does not mean you have to say everything that is on your mind. You are simply satisfied that you have said what was there for you to say in THAT conversation. Another example: you are in the middle of a long-term task and you are tired and ready to call it a day. The task will be continued the next day, but you are complete with it for today. It is satisfying to claim that you have done what you have done for the day.

Being complete is a state of being that is supported by evidence. Completing something means going 100% with it. YOU get to say when something is complete and you will often want to have evidence. This isn't airy fairy stuff and we can never kid ourselves. You know that you didn't vacuum that last room and that it is fudging to say you're complete, cuz you ain't. HOWEVER, if you have given your all and pressed through that edge where you usually stop, and now you really need to stop, you can declare that you are done for the day, and finish the job later. You can declare you are complete, knowing that the job is not finished. Get the difference?

I was the assistant to the president of a search firm for two amazing years of personal growth. This woman taught me what 'complete' entails. She would ask if I had sent a package. "Yes." Then she would ask when, exactly. Did I know it arrived? I kept deepening my commitment to be CERTAIN. I had been assuming that the package arrived because, well, most packages arrive, don't they? I learned to check and double check the work I did, including one time when I remained in the office until 4 a.m. to balance a financial statement. I discovered something amazing: you really can be certain ("complete") about a lot more than you think.

Here is the catch: you are going to have to commit to NOT STOP when you hit your edge and get uncomfortable. At the last meeting of programs I lead, there are always people who have been regulars who don't show up. People do not like to say goodbye and so they take another incompletion with them to add to the mountain of incompletions in their lives. This is not an innocuous state of affairs, my friends. The cost is huge and the insidious thing is that WE DO NOT NOTICE THE COST. Are you stiff? Tight back and neck? The culprit may be your suitcase of incompletions. Creative juices aren't flowing? Incompletions. Life looks a little gray? Look at what is hanging in limbo half-done. The incompletions are little lengths of chain that connect making the chain longer and longer.

Here is the good news: when you take even a tiny step in this area, the returns are IMMEDIATE. When you complete something (cleaning the garage, balancing the checkbook, picking up your clothes and putting them away, making the phone call), you feel energized. Complete something else, and more energy shows up.

While we have breath, we always have things in life that are incomplete and that is not bad (we don't want to rush toward the alternative). Whatever we complete clears the way for more energy and new vistas for action. Whatever we allow to remain (or that we KEEP) unfinished or disorganized keeps us glued to the past. The velocity with which we can complete things in our lives will affect our energy, our experience of aliveness and joy, and our creative energy.

Next month, we will start exploring the key to effective communication and wondrous relationships: LISTENING. It isn't what you think.

If you would like to talk about the possibility of bringing more "workability" to your life, let me know and we can set up a complimentary 20-30-minute conversation.

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