THE FUNDAMENTALS TRIPOD™ E-NEWSLETTERS - AUGUST 2010
We are wrapping up this brief introduction to the ideas behind
the Fundamentals Tripod™. I suggest, strongly and with evidence!,
that there are three basic ingredients or aspects to a life that
is functioning well: integrity, communication and completion. We
began looking into integrity first, moved on to communication last
month, and get into completion this month.
Sincerely,
Eileen L Epperson
Spiritual Center Coaching
THE FUNDAMENTALS TRIPOD™ - HAVING A LIFE THAT WORKS. IT'S A BEGINNING!
3. Completion
We come now to the third leg of the stool, COMPLETION,
as we inquire into what it takes to have a life that works. COMPLETION:
Having integrity, communicating clearly and being complete
are all related but they are not identical. Each has a nuance that
we need to tease out to get the juice in each idea. "Complete" means:
"having all necessary parts, elements, and steps; total, absolute"
(Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 10th Edition).
When we are complete with something, it is not necessarily finished;
it is just not missing any parts; it is whole (and it may be finished).
In a complete conversation you have said what was on your mind and
not withheld something. Same for the other person. This does not
mean you have to say everything that is on your mind. You are simply
satisfied that you have said what was there for you to say in THAT
conversation. Another example: you are in the middle of a long-term
task and you are tired and ready to call it a day. The task will
be continued the next day, but you are complete with it for today.
It is satisfying to claim that you have done what you have done
for the day.
Being complete is a state of being that
is supported by evidence. Completing something means going
100% with it. YOU get to say when something is complete and you
will often want to have evidence. This isn't airy fairy stuff and
we can never kid ourselves. You know that you didn't vacuum that
last room and that it is fudging to say you're complete, cuz you
ain't. HOWEVER, if you have given your all and pressed through that
edge where you usually stop, and now you really need to stop, you
can declare that you are done for the day, and finish the job later.
You can declare you are complete, knowing that the job
is not finished. Get the difference?
I was the assistant to the president of a search firm for two amazing
years of personal growth. This woman taught me what 'complete' entails.
She would ask if I had sent a package. "Yes." Then she would ask
when, exactly. Did I know it arrived? I kept deepening my commitment
to be CERTAIN. I had been assuming that the package arrived because,
well, most packages arrive, don't they? I learned to check
and double check the work I did, including one time when I remained
in the office until 4 a.m. to balance a financial statement. I discovered
something amazing: you really can be certain ("complete")
about a lot more than you think.
Here is the catch: you are going to have to commit to NOT STOP when
you hit your edge and get uncomfortable. At the last meeting of
programs I lead, there are always people who have been regulars
who don't show up. People do not like to say goodbye and so they
take another incompletion with them to add to the mountain of incompletions
in their lives. This is not an innocuous state of affairs, my
friends. The cost is huge and the insidious thing is that WE
DO NOT NOTICE THE COST. Are you stiff? Tight back and neck? The
culprit may be your suitcase of incompletions. Creative juices aren't
flowing? Incompletions. Life looks a little gray? Look at what is
hanging in limbo half-done. The incompletions are little lengths
of chain that connect making the chain longer and longer.
Here is the good news: when you take even a tiny step in this area,
the returns are IMMEDIATE. When you complete something (cleaning
the garage, balancing the checkbook, picking up your clothes and
putting them away, making the phone call), you feel energized. Complete
something else, and more energy shows up.
While we have breath, we always have things in life that are incomplete
and that is not bad (we don't want to rush toward the alternative).
Whatever we complete clears the way for more energy and new vistas
for action. Whatever we allow to remain (or that we KEEP) unfinished
or disorganized keeps us glued to the past. The velocity with which
we can complete things in our lives will affect our energy, our
experience of aliveness and joy, and our creative energy.
Next month, we will start exploring the key to effective communication
and wondrous relationships: LISTENING.
It isn't what you think.
If you would like to talk about the possibility of bringing
more "workability" to your life, let
me know and we can set up a complimentary 20-30-minute conversation.